


Lost and Found

by Pineprin137



Series: Wincest Codas [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: ...and I mean HEAVY, Angry Dean Winchester, Coda, Episode: s13e01 Lost and Found, Grief/Mourning, Grieving Dean Winchester, Grieving Sam Winchester, Heavy Angst, Jack being Jack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:21:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineprin137/pseuds/Pineprin137
Summary: Dean never handles grief well, but after losing Mom and Cas, he's more spun out than ever.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: Wincest Codas [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671544
Kudos: 19





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> And now we're back to your regularly scheduled angst...

Sam wanted so badly to reach for Dean’s hand as they stood there, watching the fire burn, but he knew Dean would only pull away. His brother was angry. Angry at Jack, angry at him, angry because everyone they loved was gone. 

They stayed until only embers remained, Jack quietly asking him questions until Dean glared at him. The kid wanted so badly to understand, to feel like he belonged, but Dean only looked at him with resentment in his eyes. Sam felt torn between wanting to help Jack and easing his brother’s pain. 

They had just made it passed the town’s boundary line when Dean pulled the Impala over. He didn’t say a word as he got out and walked over to the edge of the grass. Jack started to ask what he was doing, but Sam knew. He held up his hand for Jack to be quiet then turned on the radio when Dean placed his hands on his knees and threw up. 

When he was finished, he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, spit into the soiled grass, and got back in the car. He didn’t look at Sam, kept his focus solely on the road. 

The bunker was dark and quiet when they walked in, but somehow, it felt emptier than it normally did. Even though Cas hadn’t been in the bunker for a while, the stale air seemed to mourn his death as much as the two hunters and baby Nephilim did. 

Dean threw his bag onto the table, making a loud clang that made Sam jump. Jack hovered nearby, unsure what to do, but still feeling comforted by Sam’s presence. 

“Dean--” Sam started to say. 

“I’m going to bed.” There was no warmth in his voice when Dean spoke over Sam. He walked past Jack to grab the bottle of whiskey from the drink cart then strode out of the room. Sam caught the subtle tic in his jaw that meant he was upset. 

Sam wanted to follow him, but he knew Jack needed his help. He’d never done any of this before. He wouldn’t know how to brush his teeth or what pajamas were. Sam would have to explain everything to Jack because it was obvious Dean couldn’t care less about what happened to the kid. 

It angered Sam that his brother was being so cold and callous towards Kelly’s son. But a part of him knew it was mostly Dean’s way of grieving. He drew away from Sam whenever they lost someone, keeping his thoughts to himself, not willing to reminisce about the good ol’ days or share in Sam’s misery. But even when Dean’s words turned clinical and detached, he maintained close proximity to Sam. 

Tonight, however, Sam knew that when he eventually turned in for the night, he would be sleeping alone. Dean, without a doubt, would be in his old room, hiding out as he drank himself into oblivion, instead of tucked up in their shared bed waiting to curl Sam up in his arms. 


End file.
